Breath in, Breath Out.
Do you ever give yourself permission to be still?
To be with yourself without thinking you should be doing?
Jean Paul Sartre wrote, “If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company.” We mostly look down upon spending time alone which makes loving ourselves a revolutionary idea.
Have you felt that there’s not many people showing up in your life and some people have distanced themselves or you have distanced yourself from others?
When this happens, don’t panic, just go within, meditate on whats important in your life. Meditate on feeling, sensing and seeing new wonderful experiences opening up in your life. Spend time doing the inner work and have compassion for yourself. This may take a few weeks or months before you see the outer world catching up with your new inner world, but just keep going and taking the right opportunities when they show up.
If you want your outer world to change you need to do the inner work first.
Why are some people afraid to be with themselves, or on their own?
What do we get out of giving ourselves permission to just be with self?
- Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind. Constantly being “on” doesn’t give your brain a chance to rest and replenish itself. Being by yourself with no distractions gives you the chance to clear your mind, focus, and think more clearly. It’s an opportunity to revitalise your mind and body at the same time.
- Solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice.
- Solitude provides time for you to think deeply. Day-to-day responsibilities and commitments can make your to-do list seem as if it has no end. This constant motion prevents you from engaging in deep thought, which inhibits creativity.
- Solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others. By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you’re more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around. You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you’ve spent some time alone.
- Your energy shifts, we are giving ourselves permission to allow new experiences in our life on a new level.
- People that are more in tune with who you are now, start showing up. New career opportunities, hobbies, friendships and relationships are drawn to us.
When you spend some time with your own thoughts, you may just find yourself, and when you do, there won’t be any bond happier.
This is drawn to us because when we do the inner healing we don’t need to go chasing stuff, it just turns up and thats when we take necessary action, if it is right for us.
Some people have opportunities turn up, but they don’t see them or act on them as they aren’t aware that they have shown up as their mind is still stuck in the old patterns and have not woken up. We are also given more than one opportunity, these opportunities are drawn to us and its up to us what ones we choose to go with.
When we just accept, ‘what is’ at this moment in our lives and be in gratitude for the good that is already in our life, more and better opportunities start arriving. Our vibration goes up a notch and the physiology of our body begins to heal and change on a whole new level.
In everyones life there is always change, everything on the planet is evolving, its born, it lives, it grows it dies and the cycle of life on this planet goes on. We have the opportunity, in this life time, to learn to detach and love what is or change it. In other words have compassion for ourselves and when we have compassion for ourselves, we have compassion for others.
When I look back on my life, I can see that I have lived many different lives in this one life time. If my life was made into books, there would be at least 5 books, each one different from the last. People who have known me for years may say, “Oh that’s just Gwen” “she hasn’t changed.” But I know I’ve changed. I may be talking about something that happened when I was younger, but I do not have the old emotions/triggers happening, so to me, it becomes just a story of my life, but would have once triggered me going into an emotional spin.
We can start a new book, a new way at experiencing life. We first need to learn how to let go of guilt, resentment and shame. It’s not about suppressing these feelings it’s about owning them and knowing whatever was going on, that was the level of understanding and knowledge at that time. So now with a new level of understanding you can see the bigger picture and heal. “I now choose to open the door to healing and let myself out of a “self imposed” prison where I’ve made myself hostage.” “I’m now aware and I’m not that anymore.”
When we have these realisations, there is a huge amount of growth because we no longer choose to be a victim, rescuer and/or persecutor. We are now consciousof choosing to change our circumstances, first in our mind/thoughts and then in how we relate to people in our everyday life.
Once we start to heal and know this, our life starts to take on a different meaning and we also stop attracting the same situations, sometimes dysfunctional relationships, jobs that we are not happy doing, etc, because we have learnt the lesson. We are now awake enough to create new experiences instead of been on the same old mouse wheel going round and around. Time to get off, don’t you think?
You know the old saying mirror, mirror. What we express is suppressed in the other and what is suppressed in ourself is expressed by other. When a person is upsetting us and they are showing traits, actions or inactions that we don’t like and and we re-act, (re-act means feeling emotional pain from past situation), but when we start acting in the present moment with the new understanding and knowledge we have healed from shame, guilt and resentment, our emotional behaviour is no longer triggered. When we are honest with ourselves this is what we get caught up in and it is unhealthy. Once we recognise this, we begin to detach and become the observer, that’s when we grow and evolve.
There is no instance pill for this transformation, it’s a process and once started we wouldn’t want to go back to what was. When we give ourself permission to be on our own, without distractions, we will certainly know who is in drama.. Our thoughts will let us know that.
I’ve attached the Karpman (Drama) Triangle.
Haven’t we all been here sometime in our life?
Some don’t even know they are living it everyday.
The diagram below shows how we can transform from the victim, persecutor and/or rescuer to be empowered as a creator of new and wonderful experiences, to see situations as challenging for personal growth and move into a new and creative space filled with compassion with self and others.
Spiritual development means the ability to stand still, or stand aside, and let Infinite Intelligence lift your burdens and fight your battles.
When the burden of resentment is lifted, you experience a sense of relief. You have kind feelings for yourself and others, and all the organs of your body begin to function properly.
It’s all in the power you put behind your words.
Never voice lack, “By your words you condemn”.
If you are always noticing failure and hard times, you will combine with failure and hard times.
It takes time to form a habit of shifting your thinking into a lighter vibration.
Believe that the world is an amazing place and it will be an amazing place.
It is a world where you are best not to judge appearances. Appearances can be deceiving. Many years ago I was walking along Darling Harbour with some friends. I notice one of the buskers, an older man sitting on a small set and he had a piano accordion on his lap. The others just looked down at him and walked on by, I had an urge to chat and I then put my hand on his shoulder, wishing him well. There was an incredible energy exchange, not from me, but from him, I felt a warm flowing energy rush up my arm and it filled my heart. A beautiful memory and by just thinking about it, it takes me back to that point.
Another time I was in Nambour, Queensland and this man was struggling up a hill with quite a large woman in a wheel chair. I said, “Just a minute I will help you.” I couldn’t believe it, there was no strain or heaviness for me to help the woman in the wheel chair up the hill. The energy that was there for me was effortless. There was something greater with me in that moment.
“ I will give you the land which you see” (Infinite Intelligence)
Do not let your heart’s desire become a heart’s disease, You are completely demagnetised when you desire something to intensely. You worry, fear and agonise. Your ships come in over a “care free” sea.
The lighter you make your life, the more “care free” you feel, the better it is for you to manifest in your life what you are requiring and desiring.
Most depression happens when you have a fantasy on how you think your life should be, instead of how it is right now.
Whatever you are continually imprinting on your subconscious mind will find it’s way to you. Catch yourself and use an image of an eraser wiping out guilt, shame and resentment, ill health and replace it with kind thoughts of yourself and others.
“Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the realities and truths of existence,
the joy of growth, the splendour of action, the glory of power.
For yesterday is but a memory and tomorrow is only a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a memory of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day”.
Ancient Sanskrit Poem
Previously, scientist thought that the brain’s structure was hard-wired and unable to change.
Brain-damaged patients rarely made full recovery and the living brains’ microscopic activities were unobservable. This widely held belief was that the brain was a machine. Machines are capable, but do not change and grow.
Neuroscientist have new research that has taught us that the brain is actually plastic, meaning the brain has a unique ability to change. The brain is not a static organ. Plasticity is the ability of a material to be altered. The nervous system is the material that displays plasticity, or the ability to undergo change.
So you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Synapses are the small gaps between neurons. They allow information to pass from one neuron to the next.
Birth – 2500 synapses
3 year olds 15,000 synapses
Adults, use it or lose it!! Neuron’s do not survive into adulthood as rarely used synapses are eliminated throughout adolescence.
New thoughts and skills carve out new pathways.
Repetition and practice strengthens these pathways – forming new habits
Old pathways get used less and weaken
It takes at least 28 days to change a habit or pattern.
- Mental pressure or too much effort becomes anxiety and fear and in turn that blocks the answer.
When the mind is relaxed you accept an idea, your subconscious goes to work to execute the idea.
Do not look at this as hard work, as traditional methods teach you. Have a knowing there is always an answer and a solution to every difficult situation.
The feeling of health, produces health, the feeling of wealth produces wealth, the feeling of a better outcome produces a better outcome. How do you feel?
Usually when you are about to give up, that’s when magic happens, Have no expectations on the how. Whatever answer you are looking for will rise from the subconscious to the conscious.
Saying you want something and believing it to be so, are two different scenarios. “Lip service” is not the answer.
Imagination is your most powerful tool. Imagine what is lovely and of good for you. You imagine yourself to be.
Avoid conflict between your conscious and subconscious in the sleepy state. Imagine the fulfilment of your desire over and over again prior to sleep. Sleep in peace and wake in joy.
If you require better health repeat “health” to yourself slowly and quietly for about five minutes prior to going to sleep. Repeat this for at least 28 days.
There needs to be action once the conscious mind gets it.
You are wanting to “manifest a better life,” so when the answer comes, take action.
“Many people stay in unhealthy situations because it’s predictable even when it is abusive. Predictability is easier than moving away from that which is dysfunctional or uncomfortable”. Dr John Demartini
23/6/2017 – Gwen Hodder, Influential Advisor
This is the excerpt for your very first post.
False – Evidence – Appearing – Real
You were born with two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears were acquired.
Everyone knows fear. It can come in an instant and throw you into chaos, yet it can also save your life. Fear is a natural response to physical danger, but it can also be self-created, such as the fear of failure, being out of control, being different or being lonely. There is a fear of the future and of death. You may fear love because you fear being rejected; fear being generous because you fear you will not have enough; fear sharing your thoughts or feelings in case you appear wrong; and fear trusting because you are dominated by self-doubt and insecurity.
As long as you push away, deny or ignore fear, it will hold you captive and keep you emotionally frozen, unable to move forward. In that place, you become untrusting of love and spontaneity; you get angry or hide. But where fear contracts and closes the heart – resisting love – love expands and opens the heart, embracing fear.
Most people hunch their shoulders forward, fold their arms across their chests, or assume a similarly contracted position to shield the heart, fear having triggered the need to be on the defensive. In this self-protective place, the heart goes out of reach, and you cannot feel love or even friendliness. Try saying “I love you” with real meaning while your arms are firmly folded across your heart – hard to do!
Now take on the posture of love. Watch how your body responds, your arms reaching outward, accepting and inviting. Fear may still be there, but love can welcome fear – it can embrace any negativity. Watch how your breathing gets deeper, fuller. Where fear shuts out love, love holds fear tenderly. It is like the sky that contains everything—the stars, the moon, the wind. With your arms stretched wide, try saying, “I’m frightened” and really mean it – hard to do!
Remember the Universal law of action and reaction. The action is your thought. The reaction is the response from your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is reactive and reflexive. This is it’s nature. It rebounds, rewards and repays.
Instead of focusing on FEAR. “Think how happy you would be about the perfect solution. Sense the feeling you would have if the perfect answer were yours now. Let your mind play with this mood in a relaxed way. The answer will come, most likely when you are preoccupied with something else”.